HarperCollins Publishers
Автор Sims Gill

Описание:
Make every day funny with the riotous journal companion to Gill Sims smash hit Sunday Times bestseller Why Mummy Drinks. You're the proud owner of a journal called Why Mummy Drinks, so you almost certainly have no time at all for meditation, mindfulness or self-care (either the self-help sort or the euphemistic sort). This journal isn't about promising to make you a better person, or a happier one, or a thinner one or even a wiser one, because there's nothing wrong with the person you are. What it will do, is give you somewhere you can record your memories for the year. Or you can just skip straight to the drink recommendations at the end of each month. Totally up to you. Tired of the daily school drop off struggle? Needing a cold glass of pinot after parents evening? Mummy knows exactly how you're feeling. Recount and reflect on the ups and downs, the joys and the trials of motherhood with this honest and laugh out loud journal companion. Featuring charming illustrations and creative prompts, as well as Mummy's hilarious reflections throughout the year, this journal is the perfect gift for Mums everywhere.

Описание:
The hilarious second novel, and Sunday Times No 1 Bestseller, from author of the smash hit Why Mummy Drinks. Welcome to Mummy's world... The Boy Child Peter is connected to his iPad by an umbilical cord, The Girl Child Jane is desperate to make her fortune as an Instagram lifestyle influencer, while Daddy is constantly off on exotic business trips... Mummy's marriage is feeling the strain, her kids are running wild and the house is steadily developing a forest of mould. Only Judgy, the Proud and Noble Terrier, remains loyal as always. Mummy has also found herself a new challenge, working for a hot new tech start up. But not only is she worrying if, at forty two, she could actually get up off a bean bag with dignity, she's also somehow (accidentally) rebranded herself as a single party girl who works hard, plays hard and doesn't have to run out when the nanny calls in sick. Can Mummy keep up the facade while keeping her family afloat? Can she really get away with wearing "comfy trousers" to work? And, more importantly, can she find the time to pour herself a large G+T? Probably effing not.

Описание:
Family begins with a capital eff. I'm wondering how many more f*cking "phases" I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me "it's just a phase!" for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is "just a phase". Potty training and the associated accidents "is just a phase". The tantrums of the terrible twos are "just a phase". The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All "just phases"! When do the "phases" end though? WHEN? Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.

Описание:
No.1 bestselling author Gill Sims is back with her eagerly awaited fourth and final Why Mummy novel. I just wanted them to stop wittering at me, eat vegetables without complaining, let me go to the loo in peace and learn to make a decent gin and tonic. Mummy has been a wife and mother for so long that she's a little bit lost. And despite her best efforts, her precious moppets still don't know the location of the laundry basket, the difference between being bored and being hungry, or that saying "I can't find it Mummy" is not the same as actually looking for it! Amidst the chaos of A-Levels and driving tests, she's doing her best to keep her family afloat, even if everybody is set on drifting off in different directions, and that one of those directions is to make yet another bloody snack. She's feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated, and the only thing that Mummy knows for sure is that the bigger the kids, the bigger the drink.